Our future with an extra side of bacon

Last night on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart they ran a bit on the rampant pandemic of obesity in America.  With every state in the country reporting that a minimum of 20% of their residents were obese, except Colorado who reported 19.8%, thats 1 out of every 5 people.  Worse in some southern states they averaged over 30%, thats 1 out of every 3 people who are not just overweight but medically lopping over into the aisle OBESITY!!!.  

They then panned to a recent advertisement from Wendy's introducing "The Baconator":

It's a real mystery that we are all fat.  Garbage, sugar and lard stuffed in a ridiculous excuse for a meal.  I found the following (edited) review on this nutritional insult:

Review: Wendy's Baconator by Jeff Kay

It was like I was 18 again, and buying birth control at the hometown Rite-Aid. I felt the same mixture of exhilaration, panic, and shame as I walked to the counter. I was terrified somebody might see me, a neighbor or a family friend, and adrenaline was pumping… wherever adrenaline pumps.

”Um, I’ll take a Baconator,” I mumbled down the front of my shirt collar.

”WHAT?!” the snaggle-toothed cashier bellowed.

”Baconator,” I repeated, already a little rattled and losing my nerve. I knew if all this shouting continued I’d probably just make a run for it, and leave my car in the parking lot until after closing time.

But she processed my order without further incident, and in a couple of minutes I was handed a white sack with a shockingly heavy weight to it. And I walked out the door feeling naughty.

The Baconator, in case you’re not aware, is Wendy’s new Screw You hamburger, aimed directly at a demographic that wants to get all defiant with its fast food.

Tired of the suffocating healthy-living propaganda, and light choices and whatnot, there’s a considerable number of people who respond to items which blatantly stick a thumb in the collective eye of hand-wringers and crybabies everywhere. And if it halts your heart, well mister, that’s just the way it goes… You’ve got to stand up for what you believe in.

I’m not really one of the Screw You guys. Not yet, anyway. I still feel slightly guilty when I order something I know is loaded with fat. And contrary to popular belief, I give such things at least a passing consideration.

But when I saw the advance advertising for the Baconator, I knew I had to have one. At least one. 

This baby features two quarter-pound beef patties, each breaded in salt, two thick slabs of American cheese, six(!) slices of hickory-smoked bacon, mayonnaise and ketchup… and not a single thing that’s healthy. 

Heck, there’s not even a single thin slice of tomato on there, because, I suspect, the Baconator framers felt it might whimpified the situation, and maybe alienate the Screw You crowd.

So I took the disgraceful thing home and unwrapped it. And it was a little smaller than anticipated; it was no larger than a regular Wendy’s Double, or something like that. But boy, was it dense. It’s like some kind of optical illusion. You see it and subconsciously calculate its weight. But when you pick it up you find that it’s impossibly heavy.

And here’s the insidious part: it's good. Real good. Oh man, I enjoyed every last bite of that bunker-busting, colon-choking hamburger. I have no doubt half of it’s still clinging to the walls of my beleaguered bowels, likely furry and fluttering by now, and that my heart is probably starting to resemble a stuffed pepper at this point. But I wasn’t caring about any of that as I lifted that beautiful, delicious burger to my quivering lips. It’s all about the rush, man.

But since then I’ve been doing a bit of research, and have uncovered some amazing information. For instance, did you know that the Wendy’s Baconator has roughly the same amount of fat grams as 10 Dolly Madison Zingers, 3 orders of cheese fries, 22 Oreo Cookies, 51 cups of Froot Loops, or 1 entire Sara Lee Frozen Cheescake [51 g Fat]? Apparently it’s true.

And were you aware it serves up about the same number of calories as 4 Krispy Cream doughnuts [930 calories]? Or that it contains approximately the same amount of sodium as 180 Pringles potato chips or 132 Doritos [1920 mg Sodium]? 180!!

In addition to the information above, it appears a person would have to do 78 minutes of non-stop vigorous jumping jacks, or walk at 3.5 mph for 2 hours and 45 minutes, to work off the number of calories in that outrageous burger.

But, of course, I didn't do any of that nonsense. I just ate the thing (along with a Coke and a full order of fries), wiped the grease off my face, my hands, the table, the chair, the credenza, and all the windows on the first floor, then got on the internet for the rest of the day.

And I give the Wendy's Baconator a solid B+."

Wow and this is just one sandwich at one fast food restaurant.  Literally everywhere you go there are companies ready to sell you unhealthy garbage that is bad for you because there is a growing class of lethargic, overstimulated, underworked and exercised, entitled society burdening blight of humanity that will buy it.  These irresponsible adults are propagating their carelessness and unreserved sloth onto their children:

       

Some are actually proud of it!

This brings to mind images from the computer animated movie Wall-E where human society has become so inactive and addicted to superficial entertainment that they have lost the use of their legs and travel everywhere on robotic loungers with in-built entertainment systems and all grew immensely obese.

 

Welcome to the future…!