The Forgotten Grey

In life we often herald the white sheep of society for their accomplishments, perfections, talents and positions while on the other hand we pride ourselves for heroically searching and feeling after the rebellious or lost black sheep, attempting to return them to 'the fold', but what about the rest of us, the grey sheep, the vast faceless majority which are unceremoniously forgotten in oblivion? 

We see these grey sheep everywhere, at church we see them setting up the chairs before meetings, shoveling the walks on a early snowy day, reverently singing in the choir and faithfully, but unmemorably, magnifying their callings.  These are those members who you recognize but can't quite recall their names, they hand you chalk from the library, they tend your kids in the nursery, they take your boys to scout camps and make quilts and meals for the needy.  Silently and quietly they are always there, not in the fore front of attention or position, nor are they in the background on some 'concerned about' list, they are just the middle of the road pew filling member.  The same can be said in most families, there are those whose personalities and accomplishments make them the shining star like a vortex sucking all family attention toward them and them alone; then there are those kids who are off the deep end whose negative actions demand their parents ever waking concern and worry, which, of course, leaves the middle rest who are just there, loved but unnoticed.  

With so little time and so many demands we all make daily choices as to what we will give our attention to, what we will praise and enjoy and what we will worry and strive after.  If something has to give, more often than not it's the grey sheep in our lives that get the mouses share of everything.

In time some of these forgotten grey sheep get discouraged, feel left out, abandoned or ignored and they slowly wander off, often shedding their grey wool for black (metaphorically), in search for something more than what their grey life offered them.  It is usually not until this transition has occurred that any of the other sheep even notice that they are missing. 

In conjunction with this unfortunately common prodigal son-like scenario, I recently read an interesting article the other day which said something to the effect (and yes I am too lazy to just look it up and quote it exactly), "The further you run from God, the more he wants you".  While I am sure God always wants us, it does seem true that there is definitely more attention, prayers and concerted efforts given to those who are deem as 'leaving us' than are given to those who are actually standing right beside us (ie. ignoring or under appreciating the dutiful grey sheep son and heaping on the attention and subsequent celebration for the black sheep son who eventually returns).  It goes on to say, "If the prodigal son never ran away, the fatted calf would still be alive".  This last statement is as profound as it is troubling.  Why do we hesitate to celebrate, cheer on, or rally around the grey sheep of our lives?  Why must we wait till the grey turns black till we suddenly desire to be a part of their lives?

Our ward recently rallied around a valiant young man (white sheep) in our ward who was diagnosed with cancer.  The cancer was in a tricky and vital spot and the treatment outcome was precarious.  This valiant youth soon became the central focus of countless prayers and multiple days of devout fasting.  The day of surgery came and the surgeon was amazed at how well the procedure went, finishing hours earlier than expected.  A few days later lab results returned showing clean tissue margins--the young man was officially cancer free; A true testament of the combined power of faith, prayer and fasting--in truth, a miracle.  Later as my wife and I were contemplating this outpouring of love, faith and unity with it's resulting blessings, she commented (and in no way taking away from this young man's humbly received miracle), "wouldn't it be so neat if we could rally this much for those among us who quietly suffer in silence?"  

There are so many whose trials are not visible to the naked eye, whose pain and hardships are too personal, too deep or not as socially embracing or acceptable.  Wouldn't they also greatly benefit from the collective faith and prayers of others.  Yet, these forgotten sheep are all around us--suffering in plain sight.  Unbeknownst to others these faithful grey sheep carry immeasurable burdens--scars of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, depression, anxieties, lack of self-confidences, fears, inabilities, failures, past transgressions, embarrassments or the ever increasing incidences of having a personal crisis of faith.  These unseen tribulations can cause these grey sheep to feel very isolated, vulnerable and alone.  Many turn away, many are lost.  Who will seek after them?  Who will be their Shepard?  Will they return when they hear our voice?  After a lifetime of disregard can we expect these wounded and lost souls to respond to our belated beckoned call? 

Let us notice the grey.  Let us open our eyes to see and our hearts to feel while they are right beside us.  Let us not give any the reason to exclaim as the good son said to his father when his prodigal brother returned, "Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends, But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf (Luke 15:29-30).  While I think it is appropriate that we should rejoice when the lost are found, let us not forget to cherish those who already quietly stand amongst us.

Disclaimer: As I have been here discussing the metaphorical existence of white, grey and black sheep I want to emphasize that this overt act of classification is nothing more than the biased discrimination of flawed mortals attempting to assess not only a prescribed value of the worth (or worthiness) of others, but also their own perceived assessment in relationship with this artificially construed measuring stick of whiteness.  Regrettably the foundation and measurements of this ruler is based on false assumptions and perceptions.  It is my belief that thinking in metaphorical terms of black, white or grey artificially raises, debases or marginalizes entire segments of humanity into unjustifiable conclusions of success, failure or inconsequence.  Not only is this thought process harmful (in every possible way) it is completely and categorically a false and malignant perversion of true perception. 

If we can be open to see as God sees we will find that God doesn't work in grayscale at all, but that we, His divine offspring, are actually full of immense colors with endless potential and possibilities.  Each child of God holds within themselves uniquely divine and individual traits and strengths, many of which are just waiting to burst forth if given the opportunity.  There are no grey, no black and no white sheep amongst the children of God, those are distinctions we have placed on ourselves and others, it is not what God sees and it is not what truth dictates.  We are not defined by others and we have no right to define others.  We must stop artificially raising some up on worshipful pedestals while casting out others as wholly inferior to ourselves, all while ignoring the remaining residue.  

Embrace those around you, discover what makes them special and unique.  See the vibrant colors and potentials in everyone.  Cherish them, love them, enjoy them and then be patient with them, allowing them to come into their own and blossom into the genius that God created them to become.