May 5, 2013

On gnats and camels


My wife just wrote the most farcical blog about 'Men's Modesty', which sarcastically turns the table of judgement against women to men.  She also touches on the absurdity of modesty of babies  (read it here).  Not only was it hilarious, but more importantly it was brilliantly on the mark.   As I tried to share my thoughts through commenting, I quickly realized I had to much to say to leave it as a mere comment, so thus the blog post before you.

I often feel like some people today live life like the Pharisees and Scribes of old that are actively straining at gnats while ignorantly swallowing camels of judgement and condemnation.  In the days of Moses, God wanted to give his people the higher law of the gospel, a law that would teach correct principles and allow the people to follow the spirit and govern themselves.  They rejected that freedom and panted for more rules and regulations.  They threw out thinking for themselves and wanted to be walled in by strict commandments, thus removing the risk of losing their way to heaven.  God obliged and they received the Law of Moses with it's plethora of restrictions.  In time, they replaced worshiping God in their hearts with worshiping the law He provided.  They lost sight of the it's purpose and underlining meaning.  Eventually, they crucified the very God that gave them their law, in absurd twist of irony trying to protect it.

Today while initially well intentioned, through time words of caution and wisdom become indoctrinated and canonized into cultural commandment.   In place of freedom to individually follow the spirit and govern ourselves, little by little people start building additional walls of restrictions and blame, trying to once again shackle the masses into an ever narrowing corridor to heaven.  Elusions of this my be made to restrictions against cola drinks, facial hair, ear piercings, tattoos, face cards and yes the wearing of bikinis--the immoral, virtue destroying two piece bathing suit!  Please.  At times it feels as if the desire to become a peculiar people is just for the sake of being peculiar!

Regardless of the ever glaring cultural condemnation of these 'taboos' the fact remains that their presence alone will not in ANY WAY prohibit one from entering the Celestial Kingdom.  Even more contradictorily obvious to their non-spiritually-disqualifyingness is the fact that any worthy member who also chooses to participate in these 'taboos' can still receive a temple recommend, remain completely worthy to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and receive and magnify church callings.  That is to say that regardless of the violation of these seemingly arbitrary culturally based restrictions individuals can remain virtuous.  Yet this fact is completely contradicted by the unnecessary culturally-based shame that often accompanies these individuals for violating these 'taboos'.  In many ways, or so it seems to appear at times, it is more socially favorable to look righteous, than to be righteous.  It is easy to outwardly judge and thus those who are appear to be clean, but in fact are privately dirty, skate by unscathed, while those who are inwardly pure, but outwardly divergent will likely get the lion's share of looks and gossip.

One may be quick to say, that the outward is a reflection of the inward.  In some cases it may be.  Yet, are we justified to assume inward malice solely on the basis of an outward difference?  On the other hand, reason would scream madness if we likewise assessed the outwardly appearance of 'purity' as systematically indicative of an inward innocence.  For this reason we do not judge.  We do not assume.  We do not presuppose.  We simply love and seek to understand.

All else being equal...

...If a person drinks coke, they will not go to hell any more so than the person who eats McDonalds Big Macs, deep fried butter at the fair or more than their fair share of Crispy Cream doughnuts.  All are putting unhealthy garbage in their body, yet only Cola seems to 'offend' the temple of our body?

...A man who allows his facial hair to grow is no less spiritual or worthy of the spirit as a man whose chin is squeaky clean.  The same may be true for those with multiple ear piercings, a tattoo or the playing of face cards.  One may question the motivation to their presence, but alone does not disqualify one for the companionship of the Holy Ghost or diminish one's worthiness.

...A woman who wears a two piece swim suit is no less virtuous as one who wears a single piece suit.

...In a similar highly judged situation, if a young man decides not to serve a mission.  He will be missing out on a potentially amazing experience of service and love, but that alone does not disqualify him from eventually achieving all the blessing of heaven.  Let's not jump to believe that all is lost for that young man and endlessly shame them to feel that they are less than the potential they still have.

The core of this issue lies in the fact that sin is defined by the motivation behind the act, not the act itself.  If more time was spent getting to know the individual instead of instinctively assuming their guilt, one may find the innocence behind their behavior and the formerly unseen strength of their testimony and virtue.  In contrast, those 'perfect' people who love to cast out their eager judgment, gossip and shame are in truth the ones most guilty of offending the spirit.

I do not want to appear blind to the possible risks of these 'taboos', it is true that many of these things can lead to true sin, thus they might be considered gateway transgressions--for this reason we are counseled to avoid them, even if it is just to avoid the appearance of evil.  The honest of heart, therefore, should listen and carefully consider the admonitions given and thus potentially avoiding a future spiritual collapse.  That said, regardless of a councilors pure intentions, it is imperative to understand that these 'taboos' are not sin in and of themselves and therefore should not be treated or judged as being such. The fear of a future failing simply can not and should not be constructed into a present imperfection.

So everyone, lets take it down a notch.  Council is good, advice is great, suggestions are wonderful, but let's not get carried away to transform them into law.  The gospel has been restored and the Holy Ghost given, we have ascended enough to govern ourselves.  Let's not relinquish our freedom by building more pharisaical walls and restrictions.  Instead, let our judgements be nearer to God's as He looketh not upon our outward appearances, but looketh upon our hearts.

6 comments:

  1. Wonderfully written and I can tell you put a lot of thought in to this post. I especially liked how you talked about outward purity not being indicative of inward innocence and the same goes with inward malice and outward difference. I've never thought about that, but you've verbalized it really well! I also liked the part that said that sin is defined as the motivation behind the act, not so much the act itself. A few weeks ago I had an experience that reminds me of these silly rules and cultural commandments we make up in our culture that have become "doctrine". I was with some girlfriends when the conversation turned towards speaking unkindly about another girl I know and truly adore (although they had no clue I really like this girl) because in her wedding announcement pictures, she was wearing a dress that was short yet very elegant, classy, and beautiful in my opinion, but clearly not long enough for garments. I couldn't even believe this was a topic of conversation in the first place and at our age. It made me feel like I was back in high school with this gossipy remarks and also didn't understand what the big deal was. She hadn't gone through the temple yet, she is a beautiful girl both inwardly and outwardly and just because her skirt was probably shorter than "garment regulation" does not mean that she is a worse person than they are, or immoral, unworthy to enter, or any less spiritual. In fact, the only reason I could really conclude that they were speaking ill of her is because the girl in the wedding picture is extremely beautiful, has a great self esteem and exudes confidence I'm sure in some part because she must know she is beautiful amongst other qualities she possesses, and possibly threatening to them or causing jealousy because she can wear things like that. I figured she wasn't wearing garments yet anyway when the picture was taken months previously before the announcements were sent out, so what's the big deal and even if she WAS wearing garments, why is her underwear even a topic of conversation? These types of things really tend to get under my skin because I really have never felt like I was any more spiritual or better off than anyone and when I see the mentality of putting ourselves on a pedestal or looking down because of something as silly as a clothing choice, it drives me insane because it is in no way Christian thinking in my opinion. Christ wouldn't care about something so trivial and we shouldn't dwell or converse about things like that either. People are very complex and their decisions to do things have that same complexity. To chalk up someone's spirituality solely based on a clothing choice or the other things you described such as choosing not to go on a mission or enjoying playing a game of poker with friends or wearing bikinis or even if someone chooses to drink Coke every single day or a Red Bull is ignorant and arrogant to me shows lack of spiritual depth. Our eternal salvation shouldn't be determined upon if we outwardly did x, y, and z and instead be determined more on our actions towards others and how we treat one another.

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  2. I wasn't expecting many comments on this post. At first read it may present as negative or advocating for looser standards or throwing caution to the wind. That is not my intent. However, working with the young men for the past eight years I have seen over and over the harsh judgement of others against some of these boys by well-intentioned (at least that's what they tell themselves) members (leaders, parents and even other young men). They don't realize that their condemning actions of spiritual superiority because of their own personal strict adherence to these 'taboos'. The result is alienation of the young man. They do not feel welcome or accepted and therefore pull away further from their quorum and the church. What I wanted to accomplish with this post is to re-emphasize that although these words of warnings may ultimately help prevent serious sin from happening, in and of themselves they are not sin and should not be treated as such. We need to get to know the youth, understand where they are coming from and why they do the things they do. Once we become their friends, once we have their trust, they may listen, they may change and even if they don't they know that they are loved and when they are ready they know they are welcome to return.

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  3. I love this and am in complete agreement. You are such an amazing writer! I totally think we will all be shocked at who makes it to heaven and who doesn't. I love that we think alike.

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  4. Wow! you and Sandra have such insightful and power messages. I love reading your blogs. I learn and grow from them and have opportunity to take personal inventory of my own thoughts and perceptions. Thank-you for having the strength and courage to live and exemplify the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to share Gospel truths. The truth shall make ye free is fundamental and the closer we live to the Jesus Christ's teachings and life, partaking of His Holy Ordinances and Covenants, and embracing charity, the true love of God, the closer we will be to becoming like Him. Thank-you.

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  5. There are a lot of loyalty tests in the church. They are usually characterized by small, insignificant things - outward appearances. That is why it is common at BYU to have secret premarital sex, but not drink coffee. This is how people become rigorous at all outward appearances but do nothing to become good people inside. In fact they believe they are good because of their outward appearance.

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  6. I was thinking more about this - 2 thoughts

    1. Does it even make sense to look down in disgust on others because you think they will not go to as high a level as heaven as you? I can understand if the disgust comes because they have hurt others, but beyond that it does not make sense at all.
    2. It is also erroneous to think of yourself (speaking of people in general ) as being like Christ - being the righteous one - who is healing the ones who are lost. You are not the Christ figure -you are not perfect - you are the sinner figure - everyone is. You can strive to be perfect like Christ but here you will never be - here you are always the sinner figure with Christ sitting with you and healing you. No one on earth is ever the Christ figure. If you think you are - if you think you are the righteous one who helps sinners than that is a self righteous sin in and of itself. That is not to say you can't comfort and listen to others, but you are not the judge. You don't decide if you are better than other people. You do your best and others do their best and God will judge - not you.

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