The Forgotten Grey

In life we often herald the white sheep of society for their accomplishments, perfections, talents and positions while on the other hand we pride ourselves for heroically searching and feeling after the rebellious or lost black sheep, attempting to return them to 'the fold', but what about the rest of us, the grey sheep, the vast faceless majority which are unceremoniously forgotten in oblivion? 

We see these grey sheep everywhere, at church we see them setting up the chairs before meetings, shoveling the walks on a early snowy day, reverently singing in the choir and faithfully, but unmemorably, magnifying their callings.  These are those members who you recognize but can't quite recall their names, they hand you chalk from the library, they tend your kids in the nursery, they take your boys to scout camps and make quilts and meals for the needy.  Silently and quietly they are always there, not in the fore front of attention or position, nor are they in the background on some 'concerned about' list, they are just the middle of the road pew filling member.  The same can be said in most families, there are those whose personalities and accomplishments make them the shining star like a vortex sucking all family attention toward them and them alone; then there are those kids who are off the deep end whose negative actions demand their parents ever waking concern and worry, which, of course, leaves the middle rest who are just there, loved but unnoticed.  

With so little time and so many demands we all make daily choices as to what we will give our attention to, what we will praise and enjoy and what we will worry and strive after.  If something has to give, more often than not it's the grey sheep in our lives that get the mouses share of everything.

In time some of these forgotten grey sheep get discouraged, feel left out, abandoned or ignored and they slowly wander off, often shedding their grey wool for black (metaphorically), in search for something more than what their grey life offered them.  It is usually not until this transition has occurred that any of the other sheep even notice that they are missing. 

In conjunction with this unfortunately common prodigal son-like scenario, I recently read an interesting article the other day which said something to the effect (and yes I am too lazy to just look it up and quote it exactly), "The further you run from God, the more he wants you".  While I am sure God always wants us, it does seem true that there is definitely more attention, prayers and concerted efforts given to those who are deem as 'leaving us' than are given to those who are actually standing right beside us (ie. ignoring or under appreciating the dutiful grey sheep son and heaping on the attention and subsequent celebration for the black sheep son who eventually returns).  It goes on to say, "If the prodigal son never ran away, the fatted calf would still be alive".  This last statement is as profound as it is troubling.  Why do we hesitate to celebrate, cheer on, or rally around the grey sheep of our lives?  Why must we wait till the grey turns black till we suddenly desire to be a part of their lives?

Our ward recently rallied around a valiant young man (white sheep) in our ward who was diagnosed with cancer.  The cancer was in a tricky and vital spot and the treatment outcome was precarious.  This valiant youth soon became the central focus of countless prayers and multiple days of devout fasting.  The day of surgery came and the surgeon was amazed at how well the procedure went, finishing hours earlier than expected.  A few days later lab results returned showing clean tissue margins--the young man was officially cancer free; A true testament of the combined power of faith, prayer and fasting--in truth, a miracle.  Later as my wife and I were contemplating this outpouring of love, faith and unity with it's resulting blessings, she commented (and in no way taking away from this young man's humbly received miracle), "wouldn't it be so neat if we could rally this much for those among us who quietly suffer in silence?"  

There are so many whose trials are not visible to the naked eye, whose pain and hardships are too personal, too deep or not as socially embracing or acceptable.  Wouldn't they also greatly benefit from the collective faith and prayers of others.  Yet, these forgotten sheep are all around us--suffering in plain sight.  Unbeknownst to others these faithful grey sheep carry immeasurable burdens--scars of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, depression, anxieties, lack of self-confidences, fears, inabilities, failures, past transgressions, embarrassments or the ever increasing incidences of having a personal crisis of faith.  These unseen tribulations can cause these grey sheep to feel very isolated, vulnerable and alone.  Many turn away, many are lost.  Who will seek after them?  Who will be their Shepard?  Will they return when they hear our voice?  After a lifetime of disregard can we expect these wounded and lost souls to respond to our belated beckoned call? 

Let us notice the grey.  Let us open our eyes to see and our hearts to feel while they are right beside us.  Let us not give any the reason to exclaim as the good son said to his father when his prodigal brother returned, "Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends, But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf (Luke 15:29-30).  While I think it is appropriate that we should rejoice when the lost are found, let us not forget to cherish those who already quietly stand amongst us.

Disclaimer: As I have been here discussing the metaphorical existence of white, grey and black sheep I want to emphasize that this overt act of classification is nothing more than the biased discrimination of flawed mortals attempting to assess not only a prescribed value of the worth (or worthiness) of others, but also their own perceived assessment in relationship with this artificially construed measuring stick of whiteness.  Regrettably the foundation and measurements of this ruler is based on false assumptions and perceptions.  It is my belief that thinking in metaphorical terms of black, white or grey artificially raises, debases or marginalizes entire segments of humanity into unjustifiable conclusions of success, failure or inconsequence.  Not only is this thought process harmful (in every possible way) it is completely and categorically a false and malignant perversion of true perception. 

If we can be open to see as God sees we will find that God doesn't work in grayscale at all, but that we, His divine offspring, are actually full of immense colors with endless potential and possibilities.  Each child of God holds within themselves uniquely divine and individual traits and strengths, many of which are just waiting to burst forth if given the opportunity.  There are no grey, no black and no white sheep amongst the children of God, those are distinctions we have placed on ourselves and others, it is not what God sees and it is not what truth dictates.  We are not defined by others and we have no right to define others.  We must stop artificially raising some up on worshipful pedestals while casting out others as wholly inferior to ourselves, all while ignoring the remaining residue.  

Embrace those around you, discover what makes them special and unique.  See the vibrant colors and potentials in everyone.  Cherish them, love them, enjoy them and then be patient with them, allowing them to come into their own and blossom into the genius that God created them to become.

Ravenous Wolves & Burning Bonfires

With the recent controversy happening a few weeks ago concerning the Boy Scouts of America considering whether or not to drop their discriminatory membership ban of non-practicing homosexuals from participating in the scouting program there was yet again the typical polarized extremes in opinions and rants across the airwaves and on the internet.  It made me think about how easily it has become in society and especially in social media to emotionally tear each other apart like ravenous wolves.  So often we see individuals who strut about in sheep's clothing (factious cloak of religious zealotry) only to show their true inner-wolf when they spew out vicious hatred, bigotry and blind judgement against anyone who differs in opinion and belief from their own.

I often reflect on how often Christ sat down and ate with the 'sinners' and 'out casts' of society.  He sought to bring all unto him.  His mission was to lift all where they stood and make them more than they were.  He did not go in guns a blazing proving that he was right and they were wrong.  He preached love and kindness.  He promoted inclusion, not exclusion.  Yet we see little of this in the world today.  We are becoming more divisive, more polarized, and more intolerant or others and in so doing we remove ourselves from being able to reach, help, understand and lift others. 

Recently at church I came across a great conference talk (October 1992) given by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin entitled, "Spiritual Bonfires of Testimony" (see it here).  In it he tells of a story about a place in the Ukraine that was over run with wolves.  Traveling in this remote countryside was fraught with peril and danger as these wolves were not scared of humans or their weapons.  The only thing they were scared of was fire.  As long as travelers had fire with them they were safe from attacks.  He then transitions using this as an analogy as to our own spiritual danger in which Satan and his minions do circle round about us like wolves and attack us with temptation, evil and sin when we are weak or vulnerable.  Supporting this warning we can read the words of the apostle Peter who similarly wrote, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8).  

We are all vulnerable to spiritual attacks, he warns.  However, we can fortify ourselves with the protection of a 'burning testimony'.  Like the wolves that cower in fear from fire, so too will darkness and fear flee before the bonfire of a strong and faithful testimony.

Elder Wirthlin then relays that, "unfortunately, some in the Church may believe sincerely that their testimony is a raging bonfire when it really is little more than the faint flickering of a candle".  He then explains the reason for their misperception, "Their faithfulness has more to do with habit than holiness...".  How insightful and yet poignant.  

To further clarify he quotes the Savior who was very explicit about the so-called 'righteous', “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matt. 7:21–23).

These tragic souls clearly spent their lives in church, adhering to every rule and participating in every ceremony, but yet were found wanting at the end.  What happened?  They came to love the church more than the source and purpose of church.  With strict and unwavering adherence to the law, they lost perspective of the reason for the law.  Through time they began to separate themselves from the rest of God's children as spiritually superior and more worthy due to their relentless conformity and church organizational worship.  Yet amongst all their valiant exactness and efforts, they completely missed the mark.  They failed to be charitable.  They failed to be meek.  They failed to be humble.  As creatures of blind religious habits they outwardly did all the right things, but inwardly failed to become like Christ.

The Apostle Paul makes one of the most shocking and thought provoking comments in scriptural cannon when he wrote the following, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

Setting aside the obvious declaration that one devoid of charity can still develop great spiritual gifts and powers and be called to hold lofty callings within the church and even take part in miracles, prophecies and revelations, the great exclamation mark of these verses is that regardless of all the rest of our accomplishments in life, without Charity we are NOTHING!  We have failed!  Charity is the measuring stick of valiance that Christ will hold to us at the judgement bar of God.  We are not judged by what we have done, but what we have become at the end of this life.

Charity is more than service, it is more than good deeds.  It is more than doing temple work, magnifying ones calling, going to church, giving to the poor or even sacrificing ones life (as Paul stated, 'though I give my body to be burned').  Charity is not an outward act performed, it is the internal motivation or source that precedes the act.  It is true and selfless love.  Giving service to others is great and noble--it is even sanctifying, but it is the driving motivation, the pure intention, the Christ-like love behind the service that is charity.  

For those of us who devote our efforts 'defending' what we believe by tearing down others and their beliefs, making hurtful or demeaning comments or quickly passing 'righteous' judgements (with or without quoting scripture to supposedly justify yourself), know this, that THIS IS NOT CHARITY.

As Elder Wirthlin pleaded, we need more holiness in our lives and less 'habit'.  As we cultivate true charity the flikering fire of our testimonies will grow brighter and brighter until our testimony (centered on Christ) will be a raging bonfire.  The purpose of church and the scriptures are to bring us to Christ so that we can emulate our life after his and be converted.  As our testimonies grows we will replace habit for holiness and become like he is.

The prophet Moroni quoting a letter he received from his father Mormon who writes that it is in the possessing and personifying of charity that we become true followers of Christ, "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen" (Moroni 7:45-48).  We further read that Christ being our advocate with the Father will only claim to know those who spent their lives getting to know and becoming like him (Mosiah 26:21-27).

As this latest controversy fades another one will most assuredly take it's place.  So when it does and you feel so inclined to squash another's opinion and declare the moral high ground of virtue.  Ask yourself this popular motto, 'What would Jesus do?'  Think about that, would Christ ever post the things we post?  Or would he actually listen to what others are saying and consider where they are coming from or whether they may actually have a valid point to consider? Would he show empathy? Would he try to find common ground or at least mutual respect? Would he uplift and comfort? Or would he thrash them to pieces and condemn them to hell all while patting himself on his back for being morally superior?  It turns out there is actually a WIDE line between expressing 'righteous indignation' and being a ravenous wolf.  One is based on love.

Christ is the definition of pure love--which charity, will be the yardstick to which we will all be judged.  So the next time you may want to lay down your self-assessed moral outrage you may want to first sing this popular church hymn to yourself and then decide if your actions will indeed be Christ's actions:

Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?

If not, I have failed indeed.

Has anyone’s burden been lighter today

Because I was willing to share?

Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?

When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more

Than dream of your mansion above.

Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,

A blessing of duty and love.

There are chances for work all around just now,

Opportunities right in our way.

Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”

But go and do something today.

’Tis noble of man to work and to give;

Love’s labor has merit alone.

Only he who does something helps others to live.

To God each good work will be known.